Someone said Hi! I turned, to see; it was Mrs. Sharma. We walked to the sitting area in the park and sat down. Meeting after a long time we chatted about various things.
She seemed a little worried that her son who was 30 years old was not keen on getting married. I smiled and said, thirty is not old in the current times. Don’t worry, things will fall in place when the time comes. Tell him he should let you know when he wants you to find him a girl!
To my surprise she said, I am more worried about my friends and relatives who keep asking me, “When is your son getting married?” I have started dreading this question so much, that I have started avoiding taking some calls as they make me feel very uncomfortable. I don’t know what to answer.
Many of us from different age groups face uncomfortable questions at home, the workplace, or at social gatherings. Questions such as:
- You’ve gained/lost weight, are you okay?
- How much do you earn?
- When are you retiring?
- Are you not finding a job?
- How much did you pay for your new house?
- Why aren’t you dating anyone?
- When is your son/daughter getting married?
- When are you having kids?
Reasons Why People Ask Uncomfortable Questions
Here are some reasons why some people ask uncomfortable questions:
- They may not understand that their question is sensitive or inquisitive. Their level of social awareness is low.
- They might be genuinely interested in you or your life but lack the tact to ask the question in a sensitive manner
- Sometimes people want to start a conversation without understanding that the question is socially awkward.
- Some people by nature are inquisitive, they just want some news to gossip about.
Strategies To Answer Awkward Questions Gracefully
Uncomfortable questions can be tricky and embarrassing! Here are a few strategies you can use to answer them gracefully, depending on the situation:
- Reply light-heartedly with a hint of humour: Let’s take Mrs. Sharma’s case, she can answer with a smile, “That’s a great question for him to answer himself! When he finds one, I’m sure he will let you know.” This deflects the question while keeping things light. Or say with a laugh “I am wondering myself”.
- Be calm and ask them a question with a smile: “When’s your son/daughter getting married, or (if married) “When are you becoming grandparents?” or “What are your plans for a vacation?” It hints at your discomfort with intrusive questions but is delivered playfully.
- Addressing it directly: “He’s focusing on his career right now, but when there’s news, I’ll surely share it!” This hopefully will stop a repeat of this question.
- Set a limit: Smile and say, “Thank you for asking, but that’s a personal question for them.”
- Change the subject: Smile and say, “Can we discuss the weather?”.
- Treat them the same way but with humour (depends on your relationship): If the question is “Are you not finding a job?” Reply, “Yes please, can you find me one?” If someone says, “You are rich!” Respond with a smile, “Oh yes, I am! Being rich is a very relative term. Any issues?”
Additional Tips for Dealing with Uncomfortable Questions
No matter which mode you choose to communicate, – in person, on video, or by phone – remember: your delivery is the key. Body language, tone, and word choice all affect how your message gets interpreted.
- Be Polite: Be calm and smile when you reply. This is the key to gaining control.
- Body language: Maintain eye contact and a calm appearance to show you’re comfortable while responding.
- Change the subject: If you feel upset, say politely, can we talk on a different topic?
- Read the intention: Understand the intention of the person asking the question and respond in the tone appropriate to the relationship between you and the person concerned.
- Be honest (if comfortable): If you feel the question is intrusive, you don’t have to answer it. It’s okay to say so.
Try out these strategies and face uncomfortable questions with grace!
