One day, I asked my post-graduate students, do you see anything good in the people around you?
Some of the answers were: Many said ‘no’. Some said I have no time to look at others, I’m too busy. Some said most of the people are the ones I meet every day, so nothing new about them. Some even said I know many bad things about them though.
I realized that people today are busy with their work. They find it easy to find fault in others, complain about them, and blame them. Somehow others are not a priority.
I felt students are our future and should be able to understand that people matter. So I decided to get them to do a small activity to experience this.
The Activity:
I told each one of them to take a blank sheet of paper, write their name on the top and then pass the paper randomly in the class. Once everyone had someone else’s paper, they had to look at the name written on top of the paper and then write one good thing they found about that person and then pass the paper again to someone else who has to do the same and continue this for 20 minutes.
After 20 minutes, every student had to return the paper to the person whose name was on it. The students looked quite perplexed but carried on with the activity.
The Effect:
The students were excited to get their sheets and read about themselves. I noticed everyone had at least ten good things written about them. It was wonderful to see the smile on their faces – visibly very excited! I asked them, “what did you experience?” The enthusiastic shoutout was “great!”
The Learning:
I explained to them that negativity spreads unhappiness. Negative comments and vibes affect people. Let me explain with a few common instances:
- A teacher brands a student ‘good for nothing’ just because he could not complete his project in time.
- A boss reprimands a subordinate for being late to work without finding out why he was late.
- A husband at the dinner table finds fault with his wife as there is no salt in the curry.
Do you think such situations made any of them happy? Of course not! Let’s look at the probable consequences.
- The teacher was unhappy because the student didn’t meet his expectations. The student was unhappy because he felt humiliated in the presence of others and hurt for being judged without an opportunity to explain.
- The boss was unhappy because the subordinate was not there on time and the subordinate felt terrible as he had some personal problem and had to attend to it before coming to work. Also, this was perhaps the only time he was late which made him feel that the treatment dealt to him was unfair.
- The husband expected a good dinner because his wife always served him great food. The wife felt dejected that the husband only found fault with her and there was never a word of appreciation.
Let’s now see the difference when we start finding good in the people around us. Let me explain this phenomenon with a few examples:
- Remember, when you were in school, and your teacher discovered you had beautiful handwriting? She assigned you to write the invitation cards for the school’s annual day function. It was a great moment for you! After that day, you make it a point to use your handwriting whenever an opportunity arises.
- Do you remember your classmate complimenting your sweet smile? You were so happy because it was the first time someone had noticed your smile. After that, you make it a point to smile at people.
- Let’s take an example from the workplace. Your boss discovered that you are good at analysis. After that, every time you deal with data you make it a point to analyze the data in various formats and present it with pride.
So you see, when somebody finds something good in you, which is positive, it makes you happy and gives you a feeling of positivity.
Sometimes people are not aware of their strengths or positive traits. When you find goodness in others, it helps them to realize their strength. It is then they start using their strengths and in the process experience joy in using them.
It may be hard to find goodness in others at first. However, if you keep looking out with the intent of finding goodness in the people around you, you will surely be able to find something good in everyone. By doing this, you would be doing a world of good to people, because you would help in bringing out the best in them.
A positive approach helps in getting better productivity at the workplace, and better relationships at home and in society. A positive outlook can change the people around you. Positivity breeds positivity.
Looking out for the good in people, and genuinely appreciating them for the little things they do makes a difference in their lives and yours too!
Can anything be more fulfilling than seeing people blossom and flourish “through” you?
