Have you ever wondered why people want to be happy? Isn’t it because it is a better feeling than being unhappy?
Just saying or wanting to be happy will not make you happy. You will have to take some tangible steps towards finding happiness. You must decide to be happy by choice.
“Happiness depends upon ourselves.”
- Aristotle
Greek Philosopher
Psychologists have researched and found that our brain prompts us to act based on our responses in the past. Therefore, when we want to change, we must train our brain to listen to our new promptings. Let us see how we can rewire our brain for happiness.
Let us take an example. Say you had an Android phone and now you have purchased an iPhone. The first few days would have been a little difficult as the new phone was different. After a few days you got used to it.
Now, let us take another example. Say you fractured your right hand, and it has been put in a cast. You must now do your basic things including eating with the left hand. The first few days were trying, but you soon learned to use the left hand quite well.
In both cases, the brain learned to take your new instructions. Therefore, what is key is to rewire the brain with new instructions. Self-talk plays a critical role in this process.
Here A Few Simple Tips to Start Rewiring Your Brain for Happiness:
Take charge of your emotions
Feeling sad when you lose a close family member, or a friend is normal. So, it is if you lose a championship or your valuables. But how long to feel sad is in your hands. You must be able to stop feeling bad at a point of time else, you will not be able to move forward.
In the same way, you feel upset when your values are affected or suppressed. For example, one of your values is caring and you experience an uncaring attitude from someone. You will be upset, but if you pause and think about it, it is that person’s behaviour, you have no control over it. So, why spoil your peace? Repeat this interpretation to yourself several times. After a while, you will regain your composure. Be forgiving, it will also help you to experience peace.
Be watchful of the words you use
It is important to keep checking what words or phrases we use, are they positive or negative? Words and phrases reside in our subconscious mind and are attached to different situations. They prompt our brain to act as per the words or phrases we use.
Say your friend was raising money for a charitable cause and approached you too. You gave 100 dollars in charity. If you keep thinking that you made a mistake and that you could have used the money to celebrate your upcoming birthday, this will surely make you unhappy. But if you think that your 100 dollars could buy 20 people a meal, you will certainly experience the joy of giving.
Therefore, build the right vocabulary of words and phrases.
Focus on positive thoughts
Negativity is contagious. Let go of the habit of blaming, complaining, justifying, and judging others by their behaviour. You do not know what is causing that behaviour. Positive thoughts prompt positive actions!
Let me share a true experience: A person went to the coffee machine and found two of your colleagues discussing how their common boss did not sponsor parties. He knew this was not correct as he was aware that the boss was very generous, he had funded the education of the janitor’s son. So, he told his colleagues about it and the whole conversation changed to positive.
Remember to be genuine and say positive things about people, avoid blaming, complaining, and judging both yourself and others.
Practice Gratitude
Our lives are full of blessings, but we often take things for granted and miss out on the benefits of gratitude. Look around, look at your own life – see how much we have which others do not. It is not just materialistic things that bring joys, family, happy relationships, and opportunities. Be grateful for everything whether big or small.
In the beginning, you may have to make an effort, but as days go by, you will find that being grateful comes naturally. The more you are grateful for something, the more you will receive it. Expressing gratitude with grace brightens up people – both the receiver and giver.
Be empathetic and compassionate
Empathy is to be able to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and experience his feelings. Compassion is beyond that. It is when you are moved by empathy to take action to improve the situation.
Empathy and compassion are not only beautiful emotions, but they also connect people and build stronger bonds. This is because empathy and compassion are present only when you treat the other person at an equal status, and no one feels superior or inferior.
Spend a little time with yourself doing what you love
Work, family, or social pressures often keep us away from spending time on what we love to do.
You may love reading but have no time to read or you may love painting, but you have not painted in years. It could be just anything from going for a jog to doing something creative like baking a cake or making chocolates.
When you do things that you love, even for a short duration, you will experience joy and peace. When you are at your creative best, you will experience growth. You will find spending a little time doing what you love provides therapeutic benefits. Train your brain to help you find time for yourself.
Dalai Lama XIV aptly said “Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions.”
Actions are a result of the prompts of our brain. Wait no more, rewire your brain for happiness!
