Bharat( name changed) was my pupil during his MBA. A couple of years later he called saying that he had met a young professional in his organization whom I had coached. He wanted me to be his coach and mentor too. I agreed.
We started our sessions. I think it was in the third session, that he made a statement that he was a ‘self-made’ man. I was curious to understand what he meant by that. He tried to explain and as he spoke, he blurted out that he didn’t have a phone or a gaming console that his friends had. He felt his parents were selfish and didn’t care about him, they didn’t love him. I understood from the conversation that he was having some discomfort when he spoke about his younger days and his relationship with his parents. I realized he was carrying a lot of baggage from the past.
I probed gently, and he told me that he lost his father due to COVID a year ago. His mother had moved back from Mumbai to their village. He was on his own. I suggested that he review his relationship with his parents objectively and seek clarification if necessary. He agreed to do that before coming for the next session, but he didn’t return!
He called six months later...
Six months later he called. I was intrigued to receive his call. At the outset, he apologized profusely for not continuing with the coaching and mentoring sessions. He said he didn’t come because he hadn’t done what he’d promised to do. I was a bit confused, not sure what was coming next.
He went on to say, “That night after our session, I kept thinking about my childhood over and over again. I couldn’t sleep that night. I kept thinking about it even at work the next day. I returned home completely exhausted. I just couldn’t stop pondering about my past. I suddenly started feeling that there was something my parents had been hiding from me. However, I was unsure and kept wondering whether I was right in doubting them. Days and months passed, and I visited my village several times but never dared to broach the subject with my mother.
Last Friday, I went to my village to spend the weekend with my mother. I found my grandmother there. I was happy to see her, as I had always felt close to her in my younger days. The next day, my mother had to go to the city to visit a sick relation. I knew it would be hours before she returned. I realized that this was an opportunity to broach the subject with my grandmother. So, I opened up to her about my feeling that my parents had been hiding something from me”.
I was shocked when she said, “of course, they hid everything from you! Because they wanted you to have a comfortable life ”.
She went on to explain, “your father worked in a factory in Mumbai, the company went under acquisition and merger. The new owner laid off workmen. Your dad lost his job when you were twelve years old. You were in a good school, doing well, so he didn’t want your life to be disturbed. Luckily, the flat in which you stay was owned by him, so, he didn’t have to worry about paying rent. Not able to get a full-time job, he took up two part-time jobs to make both ends meet. Your mother had a talent for stitching, so she started stitching clothes to support the rising expenses. She did it during the time you were in school ”.
“I felt devastated when I heard this, I couldn’t stop my tears. I had been so selfish all this while that I never realized what difficulties my parents went through to bring me up to what I’m now. Can’t believe that I imagined myself to be a self-made person! I felt sick of myself and all that I thought about my parents not caring about me. My eyes were opened and I could see that my parents loved me unconditionally!
Looking Back...
I remembered seeing several times a lot of material kept on the sewing machine, but it never occurred to me that she was tailoring. I also recall my father coming home after 10 pm every night but never had I wondered why he came home so late every day. Yes, my birthday was very special. He’d be on leave and takes us out to celebrate the day ”.
“When my mother returned home that evening, I just rushed to embrace her and sought forgiveness. That unspoken moment resolved everything! She has returned to Mumbai to live with me”.
He surprised me by saying, “thank you so much, Mam!, If I hadn’t met you and spoken to you, I wouldn’t have seen this day. Most important thing is that I have no more misgivings, I know that my parents love me unconditionally! I feel so free now and am at peace with myself. My heart is full of gratefulness for what you have done for me ”.
I could visualize the smile and relief on his face. I said, “I’m sure you’ll shine brighter. Just keep showering your love upon your mother and grandmother. God bless you!”.
His story reminded me of this powerful image I found on @firstsmileap. It said everything…
It made me realize that so many parents are giving their lives to get their children a great future. I wonder how many children know of these hardships their parents face and the sacrifices they make for them.
We all know that life has its ups and downs and a strong foundation makes a strong person. If we don’t face challenges early in life, we find it difficult to face them later.
Therefore my message for all parents is that, let children know what challenges parents face so that children become understanding and strong. Facing hardships make people stronger and ready to face the world.
My message for the youth – remember to appreciate what you have and be grateful to your parents and everyone who helps you to live your life!
An attitude of gratitude will take us a long way to being happier people…
